Consider this your guide to our unique Escape from Mommyland vernacular – all the names, phrases, places and other random words that we use on a regular basis. There WILL be a test at the end of the blog.

Alice – The (relatively) sane Mommy-friend Wendy met through Kijiji and bonded with over their shared love of cheerleading.  Alice is named after Alice in Wonderland, because her decent into Mommyland was very much a falling-down-the-rabbit-hole experience. Plus, she loves rabbits.

Bridget – Wendy`s BFF and AWESOMEST PERSON EVER! Like her namesake Bridget Jones, this Bridget is sweet, funny, loyal, and has been known to frolic around naked on occasion.  In the past she has been unlucky in love, but has now found her true happiness with her soon-to-be husband.  The only difference is that our Bridget has much better fashion sense.

Carrie - Wendy's Gym Buddy who greatly resembles Carrie Bradshaw from Sex and the City, both in looks and her inclination to be at the forefront of gym fashion in her Lululemon's.   

Dawson – Alice’s husband, named for his uncanny resemblance to James Van Der Beek and his desire to be the next Steven Spielberg.

Dory – Wendy`s Other BFF.  Like Dory from Finding Nemo, our Dory tends to live in her own little Doriverse much of the time (‘Just keep swimming, just keep swimming`). Although she can be forgetful, or just plain oblivious, she is also incredibly passionate, loyal, GORGEOUS and hilariously funny.   Plus, she grew up on a lake.
Edward – Wendy’s husband, named after Edward Cullen in the Twilight Saga.  Our Edward is a lawyer, instead of a vampire, but really, they’re both blood suckers in one way or another.  Plus they’re both hot.

Helpless Husband Syndrome (HHS) – the crippling disease that sets in after marriage or upon reaching common-law status. It tends to worsen with Daddyhood. The side effects include, but are not limited to, never being able to find suitable clothing even though it is always in the.same.spot and not feeding the children a proper meal. Or at all.

Judy Attitude-y - My name for people who act as if they've got a broomstick shoved up their behind and somehow think that we're the ones who shoved it up there. Um...gross.

Mommybrain – that elusive ailment that affects your ability to remember, and therefore avoid, the excruciating pain of labour, inhibits your ability to recall why you just entered your kitchen and causes you to forget that there is such a thing as make up, tweezers and razors.

Mommyland – The crazy, wonderful place you get lost in after a human wrecking ball renovates your va-jay-jay.

Mommyship – A friendship between mommies that is based on awesomeness and compatibility, and not just the fact that you’re both moms (though that doesn’t hurt).

Neverland - The major Canadian metropolis filled with crazy characters in which Wendy and Alice first met and had many crazy adventures.  Alice still resides in Neverland while Wendy has since returned to the Real World.

Prince - Wendy’s oldest son, named after Prince Phillip in Sleeping Beauty.  The spitting image of a young Prince Phillip, he’s kind, imaginative and a good dancer. He also thoroughly enjoys a good dragon hunt.

Simba – Wendy’s youngest son, named after Simba in the Lion King, as they both have an insatiable curiosity. And the same hairstyle.

The Guilties – the all-consuming worries that plague mommies from the minute they wake up to the minute they fall asleep. And often in their nightmares dreams too.

Thumper – Alice’s daughter, named for her addiction to stomping around the house, both in delight and anger. Also, she likes bunnies...

TIWIK - This has nothing to do with lisping prostitutes. It is simply an acronym for the Things I Wish I Knew feature, where I continue to prove that hindsight is 20/20.

Wendy –The genius behind Escape from Mommyland.  As the only girl in her family, Wendy is destined to look after her own “lost boys,” much like the character from Peter Pan. However, when her family moved from their own tiny island, they took a plane instead of using fairy dust.