So far in my life I have not had the pleasure of actually meeting a celebrity. Sure, I have seen some celebrities at a distance and spent way too much time reading about them on Perezhilton.com, but I have yet to actually talk to one. So I figure that now is my chance. For those of you who have been paying attention, one of our recent posts got a comment from a K. Ripa. Ok, I know, the chances of this K. Ripa being the actual Kelly Ripa are minuscule, but a girl can dream right? It made me realize that this is my chance to tell some celebrities the random thoughts I have had about them throughout the years, so here goes:
To Boston Rob of Survivor:
I am soooooooo FREAKING glad that you finally won Survivor! I became your devoted fan back in the day when you first played with Amber, and not only did you impress me with your mad survivor skills, but you totally won over my heart with the way you stuck by Amber throughout the game. I don’t care what the other players say about you, I can tell that under all that schemingly brilliant manipulativeness you are truly a good guy. I have actually had a feud with Survivor ever since you lost the second time; I refused to watch the show again until they acknowledged that you were the best Survivor ever. Now I am finally free to watch survivor again, so thank you.
Also, if you wouldn’t mind passing this on to Amber, I wanted to tell her that I always thought that she was pretty awesome too. You are truly a lucky guy to have a girl like her. I don’t know if I would be okay with my hubby disappearing for over a month to play a game while I was stuck home alone on perma- babysitting duty. I think she deserves another million just for doing that. When my husband recently switched jobs and made us move across the country, I had the experience of having to take care of two little kids on my own for a month, and personally I think that is much harder than lying on your ass on a deserted island for 31 days. My advice to you is to buy her something really sparkly to say thank you.
To Kate Middleton, New Duchess of Cambridge:
I admit that when I first heard you were marrying Prince William I hated you a little. I was totally one of those girls who had his picture plastered on my bedroom walls as a teenager. Even though I have long ago found my own prince, and am happily married with two kids, it still stung a little. But after the initial shock wore off and I learned every miniscule detail of your life from the shitload of TV specials that we were all bombarded with, I have determined that you are worthy of the Prince.
Overall, I am very impressed with you. You seem very down to earth, yet very mature, and most importantly of all, have kick-ass fashion sense. Your wedding was so awe-inspiring and beautiful that I am really glad that I am already married, because if I wasn’t I would want my wedding to be like yours. I would expect people to line the streets to see me in my gown, and I would want to sell souvenirs of my wedding day like you did – Even now I could go for a brand of condoms with Edward’s and my pictures on it. But considering we have two kids at this point, I don’t think they would be big sellers.
To Kelly Ripa:
Last year I had the pleasure of seeing one of your shows live. Your kids were at the taping and I have to say, from one mom to another, how impressed I was with how you took care of your kids. The show was being taped outside and it was ridiculously hot that day (my grandma who had come with me to the show actually fainted while waiting in line) and during the commercial breaks you would give your kids water and rub them down with extra sunscreen. It was so sweet. I often picture celebrity mom’s as being not very hands on, leaving their kids with nannies instead of taking care of them. I was very glad to be proven wrong in your case. Oh, I almost forgot. Could you let me know if you ever got the package of potato fudge that I gave to your stage hands? I told them it was for you and Regis, but seeing as you have never mentioned the awesomeness that was my fudge I just wanted to make sure that the backstage help didn’t eat it all themselves.
If you are still looking for a Regis replacement, give me a call.
P.S – if the K. Ripa who left the comment is out there and is not actually Kelly Ripa, please don’t crush my dream by telling me so. And to all our fans reading this, please know that I totally love you for taking the time to read what me and Alice work so hard on. Please feel free to write us your own random letters anytime.