Friday, 16 September 2011

Good Karma

I take it back.  Karma is not in fact a bitch.  At least not all the time.  Once in a while she can really save your ass. 
I suppose it all starts with my obsessive/compulsive need to be early for everything.  I say ‘early’ and not ‘on time’ because, as far as I am concerned, if I arrive right ‘on time’ I consider that late.   Yes, it is fucked up I know, but there it is.  And the weirdest thing is that I don’t hold others to this kind of rigorous earliness – just myself, and my husband, because his timely arrival (or lack thereof) reflects on me.   Yet if I have a dinner party or some such thing I don’t expect my guests to be there until right on, or even after, the pre-arranged time.   But I digress.  My point is, years of constantly being early for everything have finally paid off.
How you ask?  Well before I get into that I would just like to say that what you are about to hear is a true story.  It may seem improbable, or even impossible, but I swear I was just as flabbergasted at the monumental coincidence of these proceedings as you will be.  I would also like to take this moment to confirm that yes, every word of my last post on the Most Mortifying Mommy-Moment Ever was also true (or at least the truth as Sheen told it to me).  You cannot make shit like this up, people. 
Anyway, as I was saying, my years of being early seem to have cumulated to such a point that Karma figured I deserved a free pass to save my ass from being late.  What is so amazing about that you say?  Well Karma (or whatever you want to call it) actually arranged for me to be exactly ten minutes early for an appointment I didn’t even know I had.  
It was a typical Tuesday when I got home from shopping for new shoes for the boys.  Prince was complaining about his back being ‘sore’ and I took a look and he appeared to have a bit of a rash.  So I called the doctor’s office and asked if I there was any way I could get in that afternoon to see our family doctor.  I was told there was an opening at 1:45pm or 2:50pm. I randomly chose 2:50.
It was the perfect doctor visit – my butt didn’t even have to touch one of the germ-infested chairs in the waiting room; we were brought right in to see the doctor.  Within 3 minutes we had a prescription for a cream for the non-serious rash and were heading out the door.  This is where Karma kicked in.  On our way out I waved to the receptionist and she called out “Is that Simba you have with you?” and I said “yes”, thinking this was a weird question.  And the receptionist said “because our schedule shows that Simba has an appointment to have his next round of Immunizations in five minutes.  WTF?  I pull out my phone – there is no mention of said appointment in my calendar.  Then I remember that Edward is the one who booked Simba’s appointment, and I must not have written it down. 
I couldn’t believe it.  Due to a seemingly random string of events I managed to make it to an appointment I didn’t even know I had.  Prince just happened to get a rash on this particular day and I just happened to choose an appointment time 10 minutes before my unknown appointment?  It was too weird.
Hence my conclusion that this is a work of Karma.  It knew about my previous post and wanted to clear it’s good name, not to mention pay me back for all the hard work I put into being on time early.  Now some people will say that this wasn’t Karma, it was just a case of my subliminal mind realizing I had an appointment and finding a way to get me there on time.  To this I say:  I am not that smart people, consciously or unconsciously.  Have you not been reading this blog for a while now?  Come on.  The person who can’t work manual headlights on a car is able to subconsciously get to appointments on time?  I don’t think so.
So there you have it Edward.  You are no longer allowed to get pissed at me for nagging you to be on time.  I mean early.  Whatever.  And, btw, you are not allowed to book the kid’s doctor appointments anymore.  I don’t think Karma likes me enough to save my ass twice.

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