Survivor, Mommyland: Celebrity Edition Part II

Last week before wedding madness descended on Mommyland we brought you the exclusive blog premier of the exciting new series Survivor Mommyland: Celebrity Edition.  This week we bring you the finale of this pseudo reality series.  Read on to find out who will outwit, outplay and outlast all the others in Celebrity Mommyland.  Oh, and just in case you missed the premier...

(Insert Jeff Probst voice over here saying:) PREVIOUSLY on Survivor:

Some modern mommies were stranded on an island together sans children.  Kate Gosselin was true to form and nagged herself right out of the game.  Alliances were formed and broken, Gwyneth’s mommy-superpowers were exposed, and Angie was exposed as a villain.  Some other B & C list celebrities were voted out due to their lack of star power and their excess of crazy.  Here is where the tribes stood at the close of our last episode:

Tsaerb Tribe:                   Anigav Tribe:
Heidi Klum                         Tina Fey
Katie Holmes                     Rosie O’Donnell
Gwyneth Paltrow                Madonna
Britney Spears                   JLo
Alison Sweeny

Day 20: Tree mail arrives at the camps and throws a shocking twist into the game.  The merge is not taking place yet.  There is to be one more challenge before the merge and the team that wins this challenge will be able to vote out a member from the other team instead of the other team voting out one of their own.  The ladies from both teams realize the importance of winning this challenge – they could completely destroy key alliances in the other tribe and leave it in chaos.

The challenge is the hardest one ever seen on survivor.  It involved climbing a mountain blindfolded with a baby in a snugli, swimming relays, solving puzzles and identifying different kinds of baby poops.  In the end, the challenge hinged on the fact that Tina Fey actually changed her own kid’s diapers – Tsaerb had a huge lead until the final poop identification station where Katie froze and exclaimed “It all looks the same!”  Despite her teammates desperately trying to help, Tina managed to whiz through the poop and get Anigav a victory that they desperately needed.  After that, Anigav required very little debate to decide that it was time for Gwyneth to go.

The next day the tribes were treated to a picnic lunch at a waterfall to celebrate the merge.  Without Gwyn, Katie and Heidi were scrambling to try and secure votes from the other team.  Unbeknownst to them though, Alison had already been wooed by Tina and, knowing she was on the chopping block in her own tribe, agreed to vote with the former Anigav’s to take out Britney (due to the fact that she had long since lost her underwear and the other ladies were annoyed with her going commando all the time).   At the end of the picnic the ladies decided to name their new tribe Sinepon.

The first individual immunity challenge was easily won by Madonna after she managed to keep her cool while being screamed at by random children for more than 12 hours.  Rosie freaked out first, closely followed by JLo, who had to be restrained by security after only 20 minutes.  Needless to say, that night, as planned Britney went bye-bye, becoming the first member of the jury. 

The next week things did not go so smoothly for the former Anigav’s.  Heidi and Katie managed to lure Alison back to their side with promises to take her to final three since Gwyn was now gone.   And when Katie won the kids movie trivia challenge they were able to convince Madonna to vote with them to vote out JLo who had been getting on Madge’s nerves with her outspoken ways and her tendency to frequently remind everyone that she was recently voted the most beautiful woman in the world.  So that night JLo took her final bow. 

With only six contestants remaining the tribe was shocked when it was revealed at the next challenge that two tribe members would be going home that day – the member who gets disqualified first in the challenge as well as the member voted out by the tribe that evening.  The challenge involved improvising ladders from random furniture (i.e. stools, chairs, tables) in order to reach a toy on top of high shelf.  All ladies must build a structure to stand on and the one who stays up longest would win.  Whoever fell first would go home. 

Due to an unbalanced stool, Rosie tumbled first while attempting to climb her structure, sending her packing.  When Madonna again claimed the immunity idol due to her kick-ass yoga and meditation skills she and Tina immediately started scheming.  With Rosie gone, the three original Tsaerb tribe members could easily decimate the remaining Anigav once and for all.  But using their combined star power, witty repartee and some good old fashioned persuading, Tina and Madonna managed to convince Katie that she would stand a better chance at winning in the final against them than against her former team mates due to the alliances of the people in the jury.  In the end, Katie secretly votes with them to get Alison off, while the other two voted for Tina expecting Katie to vote with them.  In this blindside, Alison ended up being the biggest loser.

The final four spent a luxurious day at the spa to celebrate day 30 before their final immunity challenge the next morning. Knowing that if she didn’t win immunity she would be gone, Heidi pushed through the pain to come out the winner of the up-and-down-the-stairs-with-heavy-laundry-and-kids challenge.   This left everyone jockeying for positions with Heidi.  Katie was able to worm her way back into her good graces despite her recent defection due to the time they had spent together and the original pact and together they decided to vote out Madonna due to her awesome performance in challenges that they thought would give her an edge in the final vote.  Easily convincing Tina to come on side, Madge was voted out. 

In the end, the jury of Madonna, Alison, Rosie, JLo and Britney stayed true to their roots, each voting for a member of their original tribe, thereby electing Tina Fey as the winner of Survivor Mommyland: Celebrity Edition.

The tribe has spoken.  Peace out!

-Wendy